Today I got a good helping of humble pie,  followed by a gigantic dose of WTF!?!

I am currently in the midst of trying to get into  graduate school.

OK, truth time: I have a very challenged (for  lack of a better term) undergraduate GPA, and  while I may have earned a Physics degree, it in  no ways guarantees that I have the brains to  back up the paper, so to speak…it (the big IT)  has held me back from continuing on into my  studies.  Remember when I said that science is  essentially the cornerstone of my life?  Getting  into graduate to school has therefore been the bane of my existence.

But this is all too much to explain.  Far too much…so much so, that I will refrain from divulging the details.  I will say, however, this includes illness, and a battle with a neurodegenerative disorder that I recently have nearly demolished.  But as I’ve said…too much, for now.

So, continuing on with my story…as an attempt to show good favor to the Bioengineering graduate departments that I’m applying to, I decided to re-take the second quarter of Biochemistry.  I had taken it the first time…and well, no fireworks, and certainly no A.  But this time would be different.  This time…I’d be smarter (literally).

Heh. Didn’t quite work out that way.

First midterm of the quarter, I study till I’m practically throwing up Citrus acid cycles, Pyruvate dehydrogenases, and Beta oxidateion pathways.  I knew the material so well, that I was practically teaching it to the students in my class!

But, I get that midterm, and my heart sinks…to a pre-computed 60 points. In other words, I knew what I would get right on the exam.  Or so I thought.

My heart sinks again–to the earth’s core—when I see I didn’t even make the average! A measly (F*****)  45 points! Are you F***** kidding me!?!

For a split pico-second, I get depressed.  And then I get so angry that my nostrils are literally flaring, and I’m about ready to punch something…more specifically, the TA’s that graded the exams.

In short. I. AM. LIVID!

How the hell could I have gotten such a low score? Are the TA’s mentally amputated? Do I need to sue the school? Do I need to hire a hit man? Do I need to raise my fist to God and threaten to never pray to him again? Even as I type this…I’M MAD!

So mad, that it’s only fueled my drive.  Will I still raise hell with the professors and TA’s? As my old, and much missed friend Alennie used to say “Hell to the FUCKING ya!”

I will be the thorn in their side.  The fly in their soup.  The hair in their burger.  The can of WHOP ASS in their…umm…ass! (whatever…can you do better? I don’t think you need to challenge me in a time like this.  I got people that know people  >< Grr!!)

I will strangle that A out of that class, oh yes I will.

IT. IS. ON.

Bring it!!!!