…awesome! 🙂

I complain a good deal on my blogs.  It’s my medium to vent. So for a complainer, like myself, to post this…

Well, I can honestly say it’s bit out of character. At least for the me that’s existed for the past five years.

And what exactly have I been experiencing in the past five years? I’ve been this bitter, complaining, cynical, and very angry person for the better part of half a decade. Geez, when I think about it, it’s a little depressing.  But contrary to what many might think, I needed this period.  To express all that pain, guilt, resentment, all the repressed emotion I’ve held for 25 years…all of it! Because keeping it in me was reeking havoc on my health!

But, I’ve emerged the other end, and I’ve reclaimed myself. It’s still a process, and I still lapse back into that bitter Marian, but for the most part, I’m on the whole happier, and healthier. Why, you may ask? That’s simple…I have love in my life.

David. My very sweet David. A friendship of 10 years, two of which became a deeply committed relationship.

It’s because of David that I believe in soul mates.

It’s because of David that I’ve healed.

It’s because of David that I was able to bring myself out of this five year hell hole I dug myself in.

David is the reason why I feel love in my life.

Our relationship is no where near perfect. We both have our psychological hurdles and mental blocks that we face, but the difference now is that we face it together, helping each other, supporting one another.

The only unfortunate thing about all this is, for now, our relationship is long distance. Me in California, and David in Georgia. But, despite appearances (and the gigantic distance), our relationship is stronger because of it.

Communication is BIG on my list for a life-mate, and David–whether he’s tired, frustrated, what have you–is always willing to talk.  He listens and tries to understand.  That to me, that is worth more than a million mansions, or even a million dollars (although I’m sure he’d contest lol….if only we had a million dollars!)

We talk for hours. Sometimes we don’t talk at all, but simply hearing each other breath on the other line–knowing that the other person is right there–is all we need to ride the huge gap of time we experience between seeing each other. Although it’s been rough, I’ve experienced more joy and contentment with David in a long distance relationship, than I ever have with any other person.

For the first time, I finally feel like I have a life long companion.

My best friend, who became my boyfriend, and who will soon become my husband. I could not have asked for anything more. In fact, it’s the very thing I have been dreaming about all my life, and after all the heartache, and many failed (and might I add, short lived) relationships, I’ve finally found David.

Other than the open communication that we have, David’s humor is something else I absolutely LOVE about him! Humor is another huge characteristic of our relationship. And while I may be wailing at him, yelling at him for passing his usual gas (I’m sure he’s killed several bugs within his vicinity, just from being assaulted by his silent, but deadly killer), or the ridiculous bugs in his room, or his seemingly half-baked dialogue on the phone (video games suck 90% of his attention…more like 99% of it), he, in the midst of it all, will crack one joke, and I’m forced to crack a smile. David simply has that effect on me. Moment of tension is gone, and I’m trying my hardest to remain angry at him–and he’s smiling to himself, smugly, with his soft laugh (which I love!).

I’m also grateful for the love I’ve already experienced with David, and I’m excited to see where our future will lead us.

Love is different to each and every one of us. For me, it’s being with David, and all that it entails. I love you baby 🙂