My vegan conversion has not exactly been an overnight success.  But, the issue at the moment is convenience. While there are certainly more vegan friendly food alternatives to choose from, when you’re out and “aboot” the day, trying to get your errands done, going to class–what have you–the act of stopping for a few moments to fix yourself something to eat that’s both satisfying and healthy is just plain inconvenient.  I’m that girl that will quickly get a .99 cent cheeseburger from a local Wendy’s, and scarf it down with a diet coke and half cold fries without a second thought, while I’m driving and applying make-up (yes, I’ve done it–we so cal-ions are talented drivers).

But, I will not hang on to the slew of excuses that I am an expert at creating.  I gave myself a year to make the conversion. That is plenty of time.  And if I don’t convert in exactly a year, I know it will eventually happen.  I just have to stick to it.

My sole reason for this life changing decision was to reap the emotional benefits that vegans preach on a daily basis.  But lately, the only emotion I’m feeling is bitterness, and perhaps some depression (I suppose that’s more a state of mind, than an actual bona-fide emotion).  I feel like I complain and mope around far more than any healthy and able bodied human should.  I’ve already cursed God during my prayers to him (I know, I know…bad Marian!), and I’m trying very hard to push away the bitterness and anger that’s been settling in.

The reality of the situation is that it’s so easy to be happy and content when life is going your way.  It’s also very easy to become angry and bitter when things are not. I want so desperately to feel at peace in any situation…when life is exceedingly good, supremely bad, and all the boring and mundane in between.  I want to literally smile from the inside out.

In truth, I don’t like the person I become when life isn’t as peachy-keen as I’d like it to be.

I’ve come to grips with a certain truth about myself: I am that person that turns a mountain out of a mole-hill. I over-react. I freak out (literally).  I also begin to blame others–my family, my friends, the crappy traffic, the weather, my stubborn southern (i.e. boyfriend), my professors, that crappy TA–to find some sort of relief.  But the irony of it all is that I don’t feel any relief.  Not the slightest.  I feel worst because of it.

I have friends who go through more trying experiences, and still seem to hang on to a healthy attitude.  They’re happy the majority of the time despite what may be occurring in their lives.  And miracle of all miracles, they don’t blame or take it out on others. Now that’s class. I’m very blessed to have them in my life, because I learn from them…or I try.

Now let me state for the record that I don’t necessarily act on the thoughts I have.  I will still be nice to you, but underneath that facade of niceness is a seething undercurrent of anger, resentment, and hurt.  And not necessarily because of you…I just learned, through years of mastering the art of repression, to keep it to myself.  And yes, it has served me well, but in instances like what I’m going through now, I’m realizing that having these feelings in the first place isn’t much of a virtue, regardless of how I cope with them.

Enter Victoria Moran!

Her name sounded familiar when I was exploring my beloved iPhone app “Be Vegan.”  Which, much to my pleasant surprise, was free!  Actually, it’s wonderful! (understatement of the century–it’s freaking AWESOME!) Most vegan apps for the iPhone, designed to aid you in your journey to veganism, are essentially free.  And they’re FILLED with resources.  One of them being video’s that help promote a vegan lifestyle.

“Be Vegan” was promoting a two part interview series with Victoria Moran, discussing and advocating  a charmed life of kindness (as the title suggests) that is a natural consequence from living as a vegan.

I find it funny that just minutes prior to stumbling on these videos, I had just prayed to God (more like cursing up a storm, and demanding to know why everything’s been difficult lately–I know, I know—bad Marian!).   Feeling dejected and frustrated, I find part 1 of the video (shown below).

I watched it, and I wasn’t sure if it was Victoria’s pleasant and insightful outlook on life, or if it was her pleasing demeanor, but I began to feel…better.

I have a tendency to place impossible demands on myself.  I throw myself completely in anything I pursue.  And while some may argue that such devotion is a recipe for success, it’s only set me up for disaster.  I won’t get into the details (have been masterminding an entire series of blogs devoted to this topic, among others–watch for it! :)), but extremism like what I described can’t last for long.  It’s a balanced lifestyle that prevents burn-out, and careful preparation (i.e. intention) that helps you brave any storm that may come around–and they do come!

Victoria Moran’s lifestyle change to become a vegan was not something she imposed on herself by force.  And in fact, she honestly stated that it took her 30 years (30 years!) to become a high-raw food vegan (which is exactly what I’m aspiring to).

Victoria never once mentioned willpower, or discipline, or any other–what I consider harsh and forced forces–people tend to impose in their lives.  She simply stated that to feel better about your body, and yourself, and to have the “option of choice,” that becoming vegan opens that possibility up for you.

Victoria also mentions a new release coming out in Jan of 2012, called “A Good Karma Diet,” and you better believe that I’m marking my calender!

Now, I know this does not sound in the least bit scientific. And the skeptical scientist in me is cringing at all this, but I’m reading between the lines here (my stubborn southern may beg to differ ;)).

So, as warning to all you realists out there, who feel any talk of spirituality is offensive to your senses, just watch with an open mind.  I will make sure to provide more resources in the future.

I’ve taken the liberty to provide the 2nd part of the interview.  Enjoy 🙂