I ponder the question, as I drive away from my job site, wondering what precisely I could have done to prevent from rubbing-wrong the secretary of the school I worked for today. I was polite, respectful, apologetic when I needed to be, and made sure to follow the rules and ask for assistance when need be. And yet, despite all my good intentions, I still managed to anger a rather impatient secretary. I guess you can’t win’em all. But the question still begs…when is eager, too eager? When do I know I’ve crossed the lines of politeness into obnoxiousness?
Let’s face it–there are people who just don’t give a rats behind how respectful and polite you are to them. They blame you for following the rules, and blame you for bending them as well. Today’s incident was just such a case. But I’ve often found that the altogether touted advice “show eagerness and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there!” is just plain bad advice! It may have worked in the eager-beaver days, but in today’s society, that kind of advice will only get your trampled on…hard!
There are some cold hard truth’s I’ve stumbled upon in my travails of work-dom. They are sad, and often frustrating, but they are the axioms (and banes) of all hierarchical work places, and so I break them down in the following:
Truth 1: not everyone in a position of authority is competent enough to be in said position. They’re usually there because they’ve–as I’d like to call–domineered (and yes, that is a word I made up) their way into such a position. In other words, they’re bossy, and so therefore elbowed, shoved, and well…basically stampeded their domineering ways to the top, so to speak. True ability, or competence are completely independent of such a rise in position (although I doubt being a secretary is much of anything, other than big heads, with a penchant for busy work–no offense).
Truth 2: while you may know every stupid rule and policy there is in said organization, and try to implement them in the most feasible and reasonable way possible, do not expect the person of higher power (i.e. secretary) to know such policies in as equal of intricate deatil, or be fair enough to allow you to implement them. Their over-used “well just deal with it!” when you know that is NOT possible is something you just have to, well…deal with. *sigh*
Truth 3: you usually may not have done anything wrong when you approach groucho-to-the-max about a particular policy that was not fulfilled (i.e. in my case, a lesson plan that was no provided for a class that I was subbing for, and thus was ill prepared for what I would be required to cover for the day). Your reasons may be sound and justified, yet you may still run the risk of putting your job on the line for every time you make someone of power aware of the error (despite the policy that MANDATES you report every time such a thing happens, or else you run the risk of being written up–do you see my dilemma here?).
Truth 4: the nicer you are, or the more eager you become, does not translate into well received responses. Happiness annoys bosses. Aloofness, a challenging and knowing stance, and an all around attitude of “I know your shit, don’t mess with mine” is generally accepted and not tread upon by such corrupt people in said positions of power. They’re cowards at heart–they won’t ruffle feathers with someone that can basically kick their proverbial ass. They only mess with the eager weak one’s 😦 *tear*
Truth 5: don’t count on karma to get your boss in hot water. Granted, it may be easier to wait and let them brew their own storm, and essentially dig their own grave. However, if you’re feeling like your very rights are in question, and you’re being trampled on for no good reason, then report them ASAP! Don’t wait for a better time to come, because chances are, they’re preparing their strategy to elbow you out. So beat them to it. If your job situation is so hostile that you can’t simple approach your boss’s boss about the abuse, call for reinforcements–the union! If you have no union, then leave the job and find a better one. I know in an enconomy such as this, a claim like that will render a scoff at best, and a “fuck you!” at worst. I’ll tell you this, though: the stress of constant put-downs, and being chronically abused by an employer simply because they don’t like you is no healthy haven for anyone. It’s simply not worth it. Get a better job. You will find something better. You deserve better.
Does the following look familiar? Poor Dilbert. Poor you!
Yeah. NOT worth it. The cost of being eager…tres sad. But I will discuss this eagerness issue in the next blog. Till then, my beloved peeps!
Call me MarMar.... 